I’ve read one bullet list after another, each one different, and I’m pretty tired of it, honestly. It’s really not that complicated. I’ve boiled it down to two (count ‘em - 2) simple reasons. The first addresses us as individual believers, and the second is about what we do together as “church.”
And, before I get into it, let me affirm that there are many places where people are entering the church eagerly. They are finding joy, and peace, and answers, and life in those places. I think about the many new faces that we’ve seen in our church over the last several years. But in those places where I’ve seen people running the other way, here are the two simple reasons. I challenge you to come up with one that doesn’t fall within these two:
1. Individually, our faith hasn’t made us different from the world around us.
We are “good people,” but so are they. We work hard, pay our bills, love our families, and believe in God. And so do they, but without the time commitment of church involvement.
But we still gossip about the failures and sins of others -- right outside of the room where we just studied God’s command to never use our words to tear others down. We still get angry over little things, inconveniences. We show more passion for our sports team or our political positions than we do for the Savior who died for us.
When we get frustrated, angry, or feel slighted, the words and attitudes that come out of our mouths are rude and hurtful and coarse... so far removed from the words and attitudes of Jesus that others could legitimately question our salvation.
We still worry openly about our problems, as if God isn’t really in charge. We still complain and grumble and find fault. We hold on to our hurts and nurse our old wounds instead of choosing total forgiveness (which is the only kind there is).
Churches fire their leaders like an NFL team fires a coach for not winning enough. There is no collaboration, no thoughtful discussion, no effort to work together to demonstrate what happens when the hearts of Christ-followers are aligned in love and effort... just worldly power plays and backroom politics.
We spend more on our pets or our vacations than we give to God. We don’t live a life of radical sacrifice. We don’t love God with all of our heart, soul, strength, and mind, and we don’t love our neighbor a fraction as much as we love ourselves.
We are going to heaven, but could care less if we lead anyone else there.
2. Collectively, we are self-absorbed.
When someone walks through the church doors, we immediately think about how they can help us, rather than how we can help them. Most of what we do is designed to please us, rather than reach them.
We’ve turned the weekly worship gathering into a stroll down memory lane... but those people don’t share our memories, so, for them, it’s a boring slide show of someone else’s past. They’ve got their own stories to tell, but we never ask and listen.
We have our traditions to protect. They don’t really advance the gospel, but we will castigate anyone who threatens to do things a new way. And we mark our territory, getting angry if we don’t get to park in our spot, or sit in our usual seat, or meet in our favorite room.
We have a catalog of unwritten rules -- about clothing and hair and tattoos and parenting and how to talk and what opinions are acceptable. That wouldn’t be so bad if we could keep them to ourselves, but instead we must point out to the violators the error of their ways.
In our church finances, we will spend tens of thousands on stained glass, but only hundreds (maybe) to feed hungry children. We will spend hundreds of thousands on buildings and nothing to rescue children from human trafficking.
We will wonder why we don’t have more children in church, but we haven’t renovated our children’s area since 1960... “I mean, my children are grown, so why should I care? A musty smell never killed anyone, as far as I know.”
In Conclusion...
I could go on and on, but it boils down to two great missing loves. We don’t love Jesus enough to change who we are, and we don’t love others enough to change what we do. So why, in God’s name, would we expect anyone to be drawn to this?
Jesus said to the church in Laodicea, “Because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I am going to vomit you out of my mouth.” Why would we try to serve the world something that Jesus finds nauseating? ...and expect them to happily lap it up?
So that’s my simple two-item list of “Everything You Need to Know About Why Your Church is Dying.” I propose that there are no other reasons than these two. But I welcome differing opinions.
Let me know when you want me to come coach your church toward real love and commitment!
